19 September 2010

Burning Questions - Western Conference

While I could break down the East a week or two ago without a problem, obviously I had to scrutinise carefully training camps out West for a couple of days before being able to pose these key questions...

Anaheim Ducks

Can George Parros and Paul Mara spare enough of their surplus facial hair to complete Ryan Getzlaf's long-awaited hair transplant?

Calgary Flames
Will Olli Jokinen again wear out his welcome by regaling Ian White and Jay Bouwmeester with tales of his infinitely greater playoff experience?

Chicago Blackhawks
Has the signing of Hugh Jessiman finally brought closure to the Hawks' 2003 draft fiasco that saw them embarrassingly end up having to select Brent Seabrook two picks later in the first round?

Colorado Avalanche
Can David Kočí repeat his three-minutes-per-game, six shot season of 2009-10 and parlay it into a Boogaard-esque free agent deal?

Columbus Blue Jackets
How much is Nikita Filatov looking forward to hearing the Special Advice that newly-appointed Special Advisor, Ken Hitchcock, will be bringing to the organisation?

Dallas Stars
Is being one Kari Lehtonen injury away from owning a team relying on Andrew Raycroft for wins more or less worrying to Tom Hicks than his reported financial "issues"?

Detroit Red Wings
Can fresh-faced rookie Mike Modano crack the line-up and finally bring down the average age of the Wings' roster?

Edmonton Oilers
With a shutdown defense corps led by the likes of Ryan Whitney and Tom Gilbert, does the freewheeling coaching style of Tom Renney mean Hall, Eberle and Pääjärvi-Svensson don't even need to consider learning to playing a two-way game in their rookie years?

Los Angeles Kings
Did the Kings see Alexei Ponikarovsky's two goals in 34 career playoff games and mistakenly think they were still looking at Ilya Kovalchuk's bio?

Minnesota Wild
Did the Wild front office think persuading an aging NFL legend out of retirement was the only way to bring national publicity to the area, or did they actually sign the John Madden they wanted?

Nashville Predators
Will David Poile's experience in suspending moody eastern Europeans when they don't show up for work help Sergei Kostitsyn to settle in?

Phoenix Coyotes
Can Paul Bissonnette round up enough homeless people to fill the lower bowl for the team's home opener?

San Jose Sharks
Will the Sharks going cheaper in goal result in Dan Boyle's playoff goal tally only increasing further?

St. Louis Blues
Is Roman Turek feeling a bit bemused about how feelings have changed in St. Louis towards goaltenders who can take teams as far as the Conference Final?

Vancouver Canucks
Did Mike Gillis only take the "C" off Roberto Luongo's mask because he didn't want Keith Ballard's stick to do it first?


  1. Christ, I love this. How the hell do you know all of this stuff?

  2. However, it occurs to me that without a "Second Rounders" chant or a Lolita joke Nabby, you may have needed a bigger boat in your San Jose prediction.