"Wait, we're almost three hours in and he hasn't done anything insanely and criminally asinine like signing Derek Boogaard to a bigger, longer contract than Jody Shelley just crowbarred out of the Flyers yet. I'm nervous."
...and only have to wait a matter of minutes for the cigar-chomping genius to flourish an almost uniquely ridiculous deal on a zero-dimensional tough guy who "earns" five minutes of ice-time per game.
But having had time to consider the details of the signing, against all odds and conventional thought, there are in fact several worse ways the $6.6m could have been used:
- Set up a construction company in partnership with Chris Neil
- Buy Nassau Coliseum...twice
- Buy two platinum seat tickets at Air Canada Centre for that key Maple Leafs - Thrashers game on a Tuesday night in November
- Use it to pay off Sather's contract and immediately hire Darryl Sutter as his replacement
- Give it to Mike Modano to invest on your behalf
- Increase the annual Versus budget for its NHL coverage by a factor of 6,600
- Sign Wade Redden to a four-year, $6.6m contract extension