By now, the sports world has had time to digest the ever-so-mature response from Cleveland Cavaliers owner, Dan Gilbert, to the decision of LeBron James to shift his jersey/shoe-selling business to another state.
With the time set aside for signing a big paycheck with LeBron's name on now vacant, MSG big cheese, James Dolan, was then free to keep the neglected New York Rangers fanbase updated with the background to their team's recent work in free agency:
Dear New York City, All Of New York State (apart from that stinky Long Island bit and that cold bit near Canada) and New York Rangers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;
As you now know, our future hero, who grew up in the very region whose name is taken from his ancestry - Sasquatchawan - is no longer a Minnesota Wild. No, I don't know what a "Wild" is either.
This was announced with a several hour, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up on TSN's "Free Agent Frenzy" - a national (in Canada) TV special of his "decision". This led to something unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment - stunned silence from Pierre McGuire.
Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of you.
The good news is that the ownership team and the President/General Manager (if we have some hard-working, loyal, and driven staff, I'll let you know when I meet them) over here at your hometown Rangers have not cared about you nor NEVER will care about you.
There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be referring you back to the transcript of the President/General Manager's sole scheduled conference call for 2010, rather than telling you any more about these events.
You simply don't deserve this kind of unfathomable free agent signing. You've been spoiled enough with this kind of thing for the last 15 years.
You have been given so much and deserve so much higher ticket prices.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE MISLEADINGLY-TITLED CURRENT ‘HALL OF FAMER’ GETS FIRED"
You can take it to the bank. And we all know how respected and trustworthy the banking industry is.
If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to New York...well, clearly, you're nuts. I can tell you that this shameful display of over-reactive ignorance and unnecessary largesse by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced depths.
Some people (looking at you, Chelios) think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.
Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.
This shocking act of incredulity from our home grown "tomato face" sends the exact lesson of what we would want Messier to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.
But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "running" of Henrik Lundqvist.
The self-declared "King" will be taking the "running" for a whole six minutes per game less than ever before. And until he does "right" by Philadelphia and Carcillo, Derek (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own the dreaded spell and bad karma left by that Brashear guy last year.
Just watch. If you can see past the guys in suits standing up and checking their Blackberries for the half hour they show up for in the row in front of you.
Sleep well, New York. Don't fear the Boogeyman.
Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....
I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:
DELIVERING ME the corporate ticket sales and zero to two home playoff dates I have long deserved and is long overdue....
James L. Dolan
Chairman, Madison Square GardenNew York Rangers